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JavaJuicer
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Name: Liz
Location: Clarksville, Tennessee, United States
Birthday: 5/9/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I have so many. aesthetics, art, artists, art, animals, therapy, alternative, being, believing, baffling, books, chatting, charming, charismatic people, crocheting, classic rock, ceramics, crafting, coffee, drawing, dancing, drinking, eating, elevating, food, friends, family, fish, goodness, god, high-fiving, Having a good time, Indie, intellegence, joking, jumping, jittering,jazz, justice, law, love, life, learning, organic food,painting, politics, rap,reggae, sewing, sex, the toa, zen
Expertise: Being Liz the wiz
Occupation: server (future lawyer)
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  starsandbuttons
Member Since:
2/9/2006
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| I want us to be friends again. I feel like its my fault we lost touch. It is. I know it. I miss our talks. I miss telling you all my secrets. You have been one of the best friends I have ever had. I hate that you've been out of my life all this time. Can we fix this? I barley remember why we quit talking. I know we have both changed, but for the good. We still have a lot in common. Can't you just give me a chance? I know I have made mistakes in the past, but remember all the good times we had? Its enough to fix. I'm trying. I really am. Please?
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| So I was tootling around on myspace about five minutes ago and stumbled upon my cousins myspace. I look at it occasionally to see if there is anything my aunt needs to know about, and maybe drop him a line. Its usually nothing too exciting. Well, today I noticed he has a girlfriend, which is cool. He is a cute kid, about 15, so why not? Well, his whole freakin page is about her, and how they are going to get married and have cute little babies. In all reality, its kind of sweet and maybe they will maybe they won't. I looked at her page, it says all the same stuff. Its just amazing to me that, well for starters, 15 seems like yesterday for me, and how much things change from 15 to 22. I also just wanna tell him to slow down and have some fun. He has a long time. I mean shit, I have a long time before I have to pick someone and settle down with them. I kinda already have, but when you look at it considering only age, you realize that we are so young. There is no hurry, but I guess in the same breathe, we only have this life. We may die tomorrow. Is it everything we wanted? Am I living the life I want? Am I spending way too much time worrying about trivial things? Its possible. Is there a way to achieve both? Not go to fast? Not take too much time? There are so many competing messages on this issue it is hard to realize what action to really take. My best answer to this dilemma is go with the flow. Things seem to take on a natural flow, and when you meet a an immovable object you take another direction....Maybe? | | |
| Life has been pretty effing crazy lately. I know I don't have it all figured out, but I feel like I might be wearing another set of goggles, possibly. The past sixth months have really taught me a lot, and I feel that I have grown a lot as a person. If you had told me sixth months ago that I would be where I am now, I would tell you that you were crazy.
I guess it really started with not getting into law school. That was pretty devastating for me. The past two years its all I thought about and put my efforts towards. I felt like I had failed, but with the state of the economy and my financial situation, delayed gratification might be my best option on that one. I also got a job selling insurance, and y'know I might just love selling insurance. They say, one door closes another opens.
Then I found out my grandmother was really sick and was going to have her leg removed. That was painful, but it taught me something. Money, this body, our clothes, this crappy apartment, and my old macintosh are all just stuff. The people we are and the legacy we have is what will be remembered, and it is what we love. It doesn't matter. Make people matter, and not your junk. Oh, and if you smoke. QUIT. That is the biggest reason why my grandmother lost her leg.
Then later the same month my cousin died. I realized then my life is so temporary. I have no idea if I will wake up tomorrow. My cousin had a baby and a beautiful wife. When he went out, he planned to come back home. Well, he will never walk through the door again. It just really hit me. I have this moment to be happy. Thats it. I have this moment to live. So why am I not living? What am I looking for? I guess it was right in front of my face. Embracing the moment is something I am learning to do. I have never been an impulsive irresponsible person, but maybe my need to plan everything to a finer detail is all kind of a waste. Don't get me wrong, goals and ideas for your life are good, but really, its all about, "The Climb." Thanks Miley Cyrus.
Then, well, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. I thought I had found the perfect guy to have beautiful children with, and the perfect little house with a damn picket fence. His family loved me. We looked at lots of houses together. I was about to move into his apartment. Yeah, I was pretty upset. Then, at my peak of despair, this amazing person walks into my life out of nowhere. If anything I wake up everyday with a sense of amazement about the world. After talking to him, everything seems more possible. I feel so young and able. Ever sense I think I have been trying to find the ground. Maybe it will stay for awhile. Maybe it won't, but it's opened my eyes to a lot of things. I guess, once again, life really really surprises you.
I feel really alive for the first time in a long time. All of these things sound ineherantly negative, but they have really given me some perspective. I can't say I am a lofty wise person, but I feel like I know more where I want my life to go. My outlook is onto greener pastures. | | |
| I have the lamest blog ever. I was going to try and delete the whole thing, but it was taking too long.
Five words to describe my life right now....
Fast
I'll hit the obvious first. Albert and I broke up, and I'm already with someone else now, Allen. I think it's a good thing. I'm 22 years-old, making qualified judgments about my life seems a little big of me. I am driving faster. I am running faster (if I run at all). I'm thinking about buying a house by the end of the year. I'm being impulsive, which is not like me.
Hungry
At the moment I am physically hungry, but I am hungry for more. I want to learn more. I want to grow more. I want to connect more. I want to love more. I want have fun more. I want to sleep more. I want more, more, more dammit.
Bored
I took this insurance job with American General, but I have a college degree to be a lawyer. It is really bothering me. I want to be a lawyer, but apparently somebody else upstairs has another plan for me. I am just bored. I am still waiting tables, and it is sooo unsatisfying. Maybe selling insurance will be better. I guess I'll ride this wave out until I find the path I should be walking.
Connected
I feel the most connected to my friends and my family (big surprise I know) than I have been in a really long time. I actually feel like I can be a part of my family, and not just tolerate it.
Transition
I feel like I am in super transition mode between childhood and adulthood. It scares me. I just want to be irresponsible and reckless for once in my life. GAH.
yeah okay thats it for now. | | |
| Ok so I am at the library. I am currently watching the mouse move accross the screen (by itself). How effin cool. Anyway, I am going back to school soon. I am loving my life. I am so happy this summer happened.
Jaime I miss you dammit! | | |
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